This is what mt doc tells me.....You have early signs of CHF. You can't do this you can't do that. But most  of all get rid of stress. The frist thing I thought was 'can I trow them out this early?'  HA!!!!! NO!!!! And by them I mean the 13,14, &15 yr olds demons in the house. Between the 46 yr old child I married and the othe tree demons living here, I want live much longer. Last night three of these four thought it nice to have a yelling fight and tried to but me in the middle. I frist let it go.But when it carried over to the dinner table...well lets say I xpoled. I yelled everyone. Made my chest feel like my heart was trying to escape. So pls tell me how on this lovley planet do I get rid of stress?

Son tld me two days ago that when he truns 14 he is leaving home. okay I got 15 months. Bye son. Its not going to be what you think it is. And boy do I ever know it. I left home at 16. Well live and learn.

I hate my diabetes. I don't want this disease any more. It is hard enough trying to take care of a t2 child, who by the way does not care what her bs # are ever. I thought about putting an add in the county paper.

Free to anyone who wants it. Diabetes. Will need to give self daily shots x2 aday. Will have to take oral diabetes meds. And will have to worrie about complactions. You will have to check your blood suger apon waking. And when ever you feel dizzie. Oh and will have to pay out the nose for meds and testing suplies if you don't have insurance. And will not beable to eat what you once did. And parties, well if you take my diabetes and eat one peice of the wrong food. Well you will never beable to realy have fun at parties. Dr vists every 3-4 months. And if you travel and like to camp and other things.....well you have to learn a whole new way of doing things there too. Have to figure out ways to keep cool meds cool with out freezing them. Call or come see me I will give this to you for free!!!!!!!!

But what would that add mean. Nothing! I will never beable to get rid of this nightmare. When pepole find out I am a T2 the frist thing I hear is. Oh you must have been fat at one time. Um....NO!!! My dr told me that sometimes pepole get diabetes for no one reason. And told me no matter how much less I weighed I will still have this stupid freaking disease. :(

I read where pepole say all the time that diabetes is the best thing that has ever happen to them. Well godley! Because they now eat better. They now get out a walk, ride there new bike, or other things to get fit. Well to them I say: GOOD FOR YOU! I was already eating good. I was aready walking 1-2 miles aday. I was aready riding my bike 2 miles a week or more. I was aready hiking weekley(saterdays so kids could go).

I had to have surgery in April and I have still not gotten released from the dr yet. She is worried out will do too much before I heal enough. I have begun walking but for 30 mins every two days. I have not yet climbed back on my bike yet. And am hopping I get my release in Step. (thats when I go back to dr). I miss hiking,biking, and I am so ready to get back to my daily things. With having to take so long to heal, I know I am going to get back in to things slower. I did get premisson to go camping next month ( if hubby don't have to work). The fear there is keeping meds cool. But I have gotten a lot of ideas from other diabetics that have to also keep meds cool.

But it is here for the taking. If any  one wants it.

I have a new post comming soon. Entitled : I wish I was a diabetic. Someone told me that not too long ago. I will share on that one as soon as I find my diary. Thats where I wrote what was said and what happen. I want it all to be said and done right. just incase she ever reads it here. I will not use her real name.

Thank you for letting me vent. Even if no one ever reads it.

Being awaken at 5am is rough in its self. But I went right back to sleep...until Dixie (dog) wanted to get up. I reach over to touch hubby and he was gone. (5:15am) so here we go.

Dolphin: Stanley where are you?

Stanley:On the floor!

Dolphin: OMG! What happen.

Stanley: I am okay I am going to the bath room.

Dolphin: Ummm......Please not on the floor.

Stanley: Nope not on the floor.

Dolphin: Dixie? Get back up here! Oaky hunny call if you need me. (Yawn).

I lay back down and dose off. At  5:30am Dixie trys to make her excape again.

Dolphin: Dixie (curse). Stanley are you still on the floor?

no answer

Dolphin: Stanley? Maggie? ( bigger dog) Maggie come here.

Than I hear the tale knock on the bed. So I get up to find Stanley. Into the bath room I go.

Dolphin: What are you doing?

Stanley: I need to go to the er. My back is killing me. I can hardley move.

Dolphin: Why are you in the shower?

Stanley: I want to go to the er now!

Dolphin: Okay get out while I get dressed and every thing else.

5:45 am I am running from one room to the next with Dixie in tow. I get dressed. Brush hair. (forget theeth). Go back to the bath room and there he is standing there looking like a lost dog.

Dolphin: What are you doing now?

Stanley: Getting dreesed.

Dolphin: Sweetie you are not getting dressed. Do you need help?

Stanley: I want to where my swim shorts.( i grunt). And my red tigher shirt.( i grunt again).

Okay so off I go! Get the swin trunks. Find the red tiger shirt. Yell at 15 yr old.

Dolphin: Poohbear!

Poohbear: WHAT! I mean Ma'm?

Dolphin: I have to take Stanley to the er for his back. Please get up and watch your brother and sister.

Poohbear: (mumbles)

Dolphin: Wait !! What did you say?

Poohbear: I said yesma'm.

I felt she was lieing but she got up. And off I go back to the living room. To check FBG before I forgot it again. Oaky 111 wow that was good since when I went to bed it was 154.

Dolphin: Stanley lets go I don't want to be gone all day.(off we go at 6am.)

Satnley moans and make crazy sounds. I park go get a wheelchair and wheel him in the the ER opening doors. The Lady behind the desk Ask.

Lady: Goodmorring. ( i frowned) How may I help you. ( i want to say by not smiling at me. and stop being so cheerfull damit)

Dolphin: He needs to see a Dr.

Lady : Okay has he been here before.

Dolphin: Yes.

Lady : Please fill out thid paper. And than have a seat in the waiting area. We are fixin to have shift change so it may be 30 mins before we see him. (that was at 6:45 am)

Dolphin: Yes ma'm. I know. Thankyou.

Lady: uh huh...

Okay off the to waiting room we go. I ahd taken my needle point with me. I was sitting there doing my thing and what happens.

Stanley: Why does it look like that? ( give nasty look and put it in the bag) I am not saying put it away. I was asking you about that green and why you can see it.

Dolphin: I don't know. I will worry about it later!.  Now watch tv.

Stanley: Sweetheart check your suger.

Dolphin: MY SUGER IS FINE. (i took a deep breath) ( and while looking at the others who had came in who where staring at me for yelling) Stanley, why would you tell me that?

Stanley: Because you snapped at me.

Dolphin: Like I said my suger is fine. (after sleeping in the same bed as him for the past three nights and him tossing and trunning all night, and than Dixie Keelpt trying to leave me ....Well I would like to see any one after that.)

So the RN (male) finaly came and took him to triage. Like the lost dog I fowlled. I sat on the edge of the chair waiting to go back to waitng. We got back and I thought he was a sleep.

Stanley: Are you going to fix that?

Dolphin: What? Fix what? God man I hope you get some pain meds soon.

Stanley: Check your suger.

Dolphin.: Stanley, Leave me and my suger alone IT IS FINE. (okay agian the long stare.)

Thank God the RN came and got us. To the back we go.

RN: Mr. Martin the dr will be right in.

And true to his word the do came in. I was trying to do my needle piont again. Stanley was lying down so I thought it was safe to began again.

Dr: Hello Mr. Martin, I am Dr. Nelson. Are you have back pain today.

Stanley: Yes.( and tells Dr Nelson how he hurt it.)

Dr Nelson: Okay what we are going to do frist is get you something for pain. And than I want some x-rays. I want to give the pain meds time to work. Okay Mr. Martin.

Stanley: Okay thankyou doc.

dr leaves .....

Stanley: Are you still doing that with out fixen that green?

Dolphin: (laying in back in to the bag) No Stanley I will put it away and fix it when I get home. OKAY!

Stanley: Dolphin, sweetheart, You need to check your suger. (by than it was 7:30 am)

Dolphin: Stanley, My suger is fine. Besides I have no teststips with my meter in my purse. Now Drop it. My suger is fine.

in come than same male RN.

RN: Okay Mr. Martin, Dr. Nelson wants me to give you this shot for pain. And in about 30-40 mins someone will come take you to x-ray.

Dolphin: Thankyou "sir".

oaky so I leave the needle work alone until I her Stanley snoring. Pull it out and go back to working. I was so into what I was doing I never heard him sit up.

Stanley: Um.... Maybe they will check your suger for you here if you ask the too.

Dolphin: Stanley, Lay down you look drunk. I don't want to to fall off that bed. Lay down.

Stanley: But you need to check your suger. And are you going to fix that green.

Dolphin: Shut up and lay down. I will fix the basted green later. NOW LAY DOWN.

Stanley: You realy need to check your suger sweetheart, you are being mean.

before I could yell again, this liitle granny looking lady comes in the room. with a wheelchair.(8:15 am)

Granny lady: Mr. Martin. I am from x-ray. I need your frist name and date of brith.

Stanley: Stanley Martin...1-16-62

X-ray lady: Okay ma'm we will be back in about 10 mins.

they leave and I dig into my purse for my meter. while I am getting it ready aldy from house keeping comes in. I keep doing my thing she is doing hers. I check. Look up to find a sharps container. Look back at the beeping meter and curse. And when I look back up she was gone. So I think nothing of it. In about 2mins. in walks Dr. Nelson and a female RN.

Dolphin: He went to x-ray.( thinking to self man these peeps need to talk to each other dang it)

Dr Nelson: I know. Housekeeping said you where having some BS troubles.

Dolphin: (mad now and frowning) No I am fine.

RN: Do you need a soda.( no lady I need Insulin).

Dolphin: No I am fine. I was upset  i did not see a shapes container in here any where.

Dr Nelson: I remeber you. You are the frist person I ever diagosned with diabetes. And you have been one how long now?

Dolphin: Almost 2 yr. ( 8-24-06)

RN: Okay if you are okay . Let us know if you need a soda or any thing.

Dolphin: (with a forced smile) Okay thankyou!

I was hungrey. Worried if the Byetta was going to be enough to control my now 183 bs. I had not eating any thing. So here comes Stanley back from x-ray.

X-ray lady: Mr Martin wake up we are back at the er. ( no no let him sleep)

Stanley slowley stands useing his cane. Funny though that cane was bought 5 yrs ago for our wedding. He never thought he would have to realy use it. And he half eyed looked at me and gets on the bed. And than I hear it.

Stanley: Did You check your suger?

Before I could say any thing. He is out again. Whew!!! He is snoring again. And this time I leave the needle point right where it is. Dr Nelson comes it. He tells me there are no broken bones. But the degerntive arturtis has goten worse. And that maybe he need to see about some SSDI.

Stanley: I need pain meds to take home.

DR Nelson: Yes Mr Martin, I will send you home with some thing to get filled.

Female RN: Okay You guys ready to go home?

Dolphin & Stanley: Yes!!

He gets discharged. I saw it was 9:15 am. I wanted something to eat. I felt like I was straving. So I went to McD's.

Voice over intercome thing: welcome to our McD's How may I serve you?

Dolphin: I would Like one meds diet soda. And one checkin biscute please.

Stanley: Make that 3 i want two and a large vanilla shake.

Dolphin: I need to more of those sanwich please and a large vanilla shake.

Voice: what?

I repeat the order. And she says drive to frist window. I pay for food go to next widow get it and pull put to the frist red light. I look back in the back seat and curse.

Stanley: Whats wrong?

Dolphin: I forgot to take my shot before I left the hosptial. And I need to take it before I eat.

Stanley: Pull over down there take it........and oh you need to check your suger.

Dolphin: Okay I will pull over after the next light and take my shot. (acting as if i did not hear the check your suger).

Well after next light I pull over take shot. Pull out little pill keeper with over diabetic meds and non-diabetic meds and take them. With what I thought was mt diet soda (mad).

Stanley: Whats wrong?

Dolphin: Not diet soda in that cup.

Stanley: Here have some of my shake. Get your meter and check your suger.

Dolphin: For the love of all things. Forget the check my dam suger. And here you are telling me to check my suger and offering me some of your VANILLA SHAKE!!!!! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Stanley: Here is your sanwich. I thought you had to...

Dolphin: Stanley if you say check my suger you will walk all 36 miles home.....you got it.

Stanley: Wait before you could eat after you took your shot.

Dolphin: At home I do. But I am straving. I have been up too long with out eating. And now I am grumppy. Let me eat. And it is best if you do the same.

So all the way home he is in and out of sleep. We pull up in the yard. I blow horn and Dixie,kids & last Maggie. I began to ask things like....

Dolphin: Did you walk the dogs? Did you feed the pond fish? Did you feed the bettas? Did any one water Ginger (out side dog). Did any one feed and water the birds.( in the house) Did any one check the wild bird feed? Did anyone check the bird bath. Oh And did you(poohbear) feed the hermitcrabs.

All three kids: No ma'am.

Poohbear: Moma I think you need to check your suger you are ill....

Stanley: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........Girl ( and slams the car door while still in it)

Dolphin: Okay: WHAT  WAS YOUR FBG THIS AM,

Poohbear: I forgot to check it.

Dolphin: DID YOU TAKE YOUR MEDS.......WHAT DI YOU EAT.......AND HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU TELL ME I AM "ILL" WHEN YOU HAVE THE DISEASE TOO AND DON'T TAKE CARE OF YOU....................OMG!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE.

Needless to say no one has messed with me since than. I check suger after two hrs. was a little higher than I like. But leave me alone MY SUGER IS FINE.....................LOL >>>>>>>>What aday