Well, it's been a while since I've been on here.  I finally have a computer for myself, Santa showed up this year with two laptops, one for each of my son's so now I have a computer for myself.  YEAH! 

Things have been going well for me and my glucose levels.  You know those tv commercials that says that "your meter is your life line"?  Well, they really are.  I've noticed that when I feel bad, I test.  When I feel agitated, I test.  I'm buzzing around, I test.  I can't get my thoughts together, I test, you get the picture.  I never really thought about it but it seems everything revolves around my glucose level.  Since I've become more aware of how I feel and where my gloucose levels are at that time, I've finally got myself under control, and the best part is I've acutally started loosing weight!

Some days I have to make myself go and take my meds.  I get discourged and think, "why do this today, what's the point?  My glucose levels are already high and I've not even ate anything yet."  Then I look at my boys and my husband and think, "I have to do this, I want to go to all the places my husband and I have been planning for the last 18 years.  I want to see my boys graduate school, go to college, get married, and have families of their own." 

My husband and I have been thinking whether or not to have another child since our boys are teenagers and will be leaving the "nest" in a few years.  With my age and being diabetic with diabetic complications already I know I'd be a really high risk.  But I think we've decided to wait for grandchildren.  (I'm in no big hurry)  Maybe I should enjoy the time my husband and I are alone now.  We haven't been alone for the last 16 years.  I find its hard to fill my time.  I work full time but when I come home or on the weekends, or when school is on a break I find myself having to "find" things to do.  (So I don't just sit and eat.)

Oh, well...these are just some of my thoughts.

Here we go again.  I went back to my doctor because I wasn't feeling well and had no clue what was going on.  My glucose numbers have been all over the chart.  I have no idea why, nothing had changed.  We decided to do labs.  My thyroid levels were normal, (which I was surprised about)  she said my glucose levels were averaging 121 (Which I thought was pretty good), but here it comes another problem to watch...I have an iron deficiency.  It seems like there's a new diagnosis every time I go back to my doctor.  I have no idea if there could have anything to do with my numbers jumping around. 

I get so depressed after going to the doctor.  I get good news and bad.  Never fails.  I know it could be worse and I thank God it's not anything more than what they found.  What bothers me is another drug!  That seems to always be the answer.  I hate taking pills and shots but I try to accept it.  

I got up feeling really good this morning.  After I got to work my day totally chnged.  For some reason my glucose levels have dropped on me twice today already.  I've been eating just not enough I guess.  I need to loose more weight than I've alreay lost how can I do that when I always need to eat? 

The only good thing is that I can feel when my levels are dropping off.   I can feel my heart change rythm, I start to loose my concentration and to a point I don't think clearly.  I can feel all this when my level dropps below 70.  When they are below 60 I can't think much at all.  The simplist thing (like getting my glucose tablets) becomes a very complicated task for me. 

The good thing is that there's never a dull moment in my life.  I mean two days are never the same.